HOW IT ALL BEGAN

HER VERSION

I grew up under very strict parents so that instilled the reserved attitude I have. My upbringing and attitude has molded me into the woman that I am today. Some friends say that i could be complicated when it comes to male issues but i didnt quite understand what they meant up until i met Wale .  My name is Shirley and this is my story.

I was born and bred in Calabar, grew up in a very close-knit family and travelling was hardly needful. As a result, i rarely left my comfort zone, up until NYSC posted me to Ibadan in Oyo state and that was my first opportunity to stay out of home and Calabar for more than one week :) . After Orientation camp, i was posted to International Institute of Tropical Agriculture (IITA). It is known for its large landscape, making it a really big institution. I had to find my way around as soon as possible and with time, i begun making new friends too.

One of those days I was trying to get somewhere when I saw two guys from a distance. To my surprise they started waving at me so I waved back and because of the road's networking , we were walking towards each other. They introduced themselves as Yinka and Wale. Now from the get go, Yinka was my kind of person… my fantasy man (from the physical point of view that is). He was well built, tall and dark, EXCEPT that he knew how to swing his words. After our meeting, Yinka got on my case instantly and kept the calls coming. He kept asking for a date, or a sit out but I kept posting him. Nothing personal but like I said, I am a very reserved person and I like to take my time. Wale on the other hand was just okay, fair in complexion and 'seemed' quiet. I admit that besides being reserved, i have a bit of a tomboy personality but not withstanding, i sometimes had fantasies of my dream man to be a well-built guy,dark, tall and not 'churchy' but spiritual. On a different day,i was on my way to the I-House and was greeted by a handsome young man who seemed familiar but whose name had skipped my memory. Funny enough he just said hello, reintroduced himself as Wale  and walked away. Now that created an impression because other guys would have initiated some empty and purposeless conversation.

 There I-House (International house ), happened to be a kind of social house within the institution with a swimming pool, continental dishes and holds functions like Friday pizza nights and all that. Since I was living within the premises at the time, Yinka was trying to use that opportunity to draw me out of my shell but it really didn’t work until one day I decided to take the chance and I went with my friend, Temi. Yinka also came with his friend, Wale. They ordered for drinks and Sprite was my choice, being my favorite at the time. After the waiter brought the order with glass cups, I walked up and got a straw for myself. Yinka did most of the talking that night but time flew fast so i hinted him that it was high time that i left. Yinka was nice enough to walk Temi and I home in the company of his friend, Wale. On our way, Wale continued with his joke about vampires that came out in the dark on the lonely road within the institute and it was very scary and not funny to me as the tale seemed true. Just when we had gotten scared enough, Wale suggested they had gone far enough and they said thier good byes and left us half way home. That was not cool at all to me.

As time went on, Yinka kept in touch with phone calls but i figured out there really wasn’t a connection between us, especially after a good friend hinted me that I should be careful with him for reasons that he was also asking her and several other people out.   

Coincidentally, Wale and I met again sometime later at the I-House.  I had gone there to pick the keys to my apartment and Wale and some of his friends where there.  Wale had offered me a drink but I declined in my usual reserved way, but another friend, (Gbenga) insisted that I took something. I obliged and to my greatest surprise, Wale requested the waiter brought me Sprite and as if that was not enough, Wale stood up and got me a straw ; which made me realize he'd noticed every detail of the other night his friend hosted me. I was impressed but it got me thinking a bit.

After we had had our drinks and I was about to leave, he offered to walk me back home, and this time alone without an escort. On the way we talked and got to know each other better. I asked after his friend Yinka and learned that he had traveled. Wale got my phone number and stopped at my doorstep before taking his leave. That was nice of him and he had just begun to be dear. A few days later, he asked for a double date. A friend of his was going to take him out and he wanted me to be his company for the date. He also said he was bringing his nephew along, which made me feel at ease and so i accepted. When Wale showed up with his little nephew, i begun suspecting he was his son. Guys can be very interesting you know, besides, being raised by an ex-police officer that was just my investigative instinct speaking. The days brought Wale and I closer and our relationship got more appreciative and even when Yinka got back from his trip and showed his jealousy and anger, it didn’t really change anything. Wale and I were just friends and it remained so until one fateful night.

Wale and I had inculcated a movie culture via his PC, into his visits (which was mostly after dropping me off from work in the evenings). On this day, he got up to leave after we'd watched a movie and I naturally got up to walk him to the gate but before leaving,he surprisingly leaned forward to kiss me for the first time but I stepped back. This really hurt Wale, i noticed. He later apologized but explained to me that usually in his relationships, to be certain the lady he felt attracted to was ready to date him, he'd make that move (leaning to kiss) and if the girl was into him that much she would kiss him too. If there was no connection, then she'd declined that would be the end of whatever they had. However, in my case he just couldn’t stay away. He just had to come back and now he wanted to formally ask if I would go into a relationship with him. Once again I declined and asked for more time. I said we should just be friends for the next six months and see where that leads us.

Within the next few months I did all the investigations and got all or most of the confirmations that I needed to talk to my mother about this man that had gradually taken a very dear and huge portion of my heart and attention. I also realised it was a leap of faith that I had to take because I had grown to trust Wale’s word and the honesty of his intentions and actions. So, one day before the five month limit, I had to give in because I suddenly realized that I had fallen in love without bounds.   

THE PROPOSAL

In September of 2011, Wale requested to meet my parents and in December of the same year, he made the most unusual proposal. You see, we had been into a bit of a quarrel as he was about to travel and right in the middle of the quarrel, he asked me if I'd still marry him despite all the recurrent quarrels and fights that we were having then. Still in great anger, I said yes because i didn't think that should cost me much to just answer then. He took his time and asked the question again and tears just rolled down my eyes when I saw a glass-like ring case in his hand. Suddenly, it dawned on me that a new stage of my life had just began. "Will you marry me and make me the happiest man on earth", the question came again and in-between uncontrollable tears I replied "yes". 

We got married on the 25^th and the 26^th of September,2013.

HIS VERSION

So, it started as a lady was walking to IITA's canteen when a friend of mine stopped her to say hello. I knew that my friend was always to no good when it came to ladies so I stepped aside and let them do their introductions together. When they started exchanging numbers, in my mind, I was like "well, she's already giving him her number... not a really good lady" As she was about to leave, I introduced myself to her and that was it. I didn't have any thoughts about her. Only that she was a snub.

The next time we met was when she was walking towards the International House (I-House) of IITA and she was talking to a fellow NYSC copper called Chucks. She told him she was going to the International House and I just used the opportunity to find out if she still remembered my name. I knew she didn't because I did not leave any impression the last time. So... as she was walking towards there...

I: You know coppers are not allowed at the I-House?

She: That's not true...

I: (Smiling). Just kidding. I'm sure you don't remember my name.

She: hmm.... it's hmm.

I: (Still smiling) just said "Wale" and left.

In the meantime, Yinka told me that lady (Shirley) is kind of hard to get in the sense that she wouldn't succumb into going out with him. This got me confused because i couldn't understand why she gave him her number when she didn't want anything to do with him...but i let it slide and didn't talk much about it to him. Only for him to say, she was coming to the I-House and at that time, I was swimming. I used to love swimming for exercise. Anyway, she came along with a friend of hers and we had drinks. I noticed she had Sprite and she used a straw which was more or less lady like. We made some jokes and I noticed she was different. Kinda shy at the same time was able to speak and also comment on the jokes. She was just different because she wasn't loud or anything. But still I wouldn't say anything yet. I just knew she was in for trouble with Yinka. As the evening went by, she said she had to leave and was scared because it was dark. I further added more fears by telling her there were vampire bats which sucked blood on the trees and one needs to be careful when in IITA by night. She got more scared. At that moment, she was ready to leave for home, so we took the opportunity to walk her because it was dark. On the way while escorting her, I was only scaring her more talking about vampires and how vampires were fake but the vampire bats were real. She got more scared obviously...

By the time we got to a roundabout within the campus, I had to tell my friend it was time to let them go and that we had seen them off enough. I noticed this infuriated her but she was quick to hide it. I didn't even care because all I know is Yinka just wanted this girl. And then she asked me a question. She said "Where are you from?", and I answered... "Why?" and she said because of my accent. I just told her, don't worry. You may find out later but not now. I just smiled, turned my back and noticed she was just taken aback.

Now all this time, I was kinda feeling sorry for her because when Yinka's done with you, he's done with you and the whole IITA would know. What could I do? I didn't have her number neither did I know the unit of IITA in which she worked. Just like magic, she came to the I-House on another day while I was there with a friend called Peter. He greeted her and I did the same. She was sitting far away from us and Peter said she should join us which she did. At that point we offered her a drink but she declined. Another friend came over... Gbenga, who noticed that we were drinking but she wasn't and therefore asked what she wanted. I immediately answered she would take sprite which I noticed the other day was what she took. The sprite came with a glass cup. I immediately stood up and go a straw for her which was to me gentlemanly and also which I noticed that she used the last time she drank. We had our drinks and she needed to leave. I took the initiative to see her off to where she was going and we got talking. I got to find out the kind of lady she was which wasn't what I thought she was initially. From there, I made up my mind to know her better.

The next day was a weekend and I was alone with my nephew in the house. I sent her a message if she had yahoo messenger which she did and gave me her yahoo id so we could chat. We were chatting when I mentioned to her to let us hang out with my nephew. She said yes and off we went to pick her. I took her to see a friend before leaving for the venue and we ordered drinks and pepper soup. Unfortunately she really didn't like it and my friend had to leave early. The part of the outing that made me so mad was she was on the phone the whole time chatting with someone else. I on the other hand did not make a fuss about it but when I knew she didn't like the place, I then took her and my nephew to have ice-cream which she enjoyed. It was when we were going to get the ice-cream my nephew called out to her as mummy. It was funny but to her, words cannot explain the look on her face. I dropped her off after the outing and the next day, i asked her if she liked the outing and that I would love to do it again. She went on to tell me she's not really an outing person and she didn't like it but the only part she liked was when she had to feed my nephew. I was so mad but I figured that i really needed to know her even better.

From then on, I started visiting her occasionally and brought her movies we could watch together. By this time we were close and had begun knowing each other. I had applied for permanent residence in Canada the year before i met Shirley and needed to know if anything happened between us, would a long distance relationship work? I had a friend Ally who at that time was having a difficulties accepting a relationship with a guy who was not in the same country as hers and she was asking me for advice. I used this opportunity to ask Shirley and she said to me, it would be better for both parties to know each other well before someone left the other for a different country.

We went on together as friends and so many things events occurred while we were friends that people thought we were going out. I started getting jealous about guys meeting her or when she called them. I don't know why but to me that meant I had already started having feelings for her. I decided to let her know of my feelings and to my amazement; I thought there was no way it would be because someone who had known her for 7 years was asking her out. I honestly thought I had no chance. One thing led to another and on June 26th to be exact, she obliged to my request.

During the early days of our dating days, one thing led to another and we begun quarrelling almost every week but I knew that with these quarrels came something good. We were getting to know each others limits as well as understanding each other.

THE PROPOSAL

The way I engaged her was funny. I had planned for it to happen in the I-house when we had an outing but there was this funny day we were quarreling and I asked her that with all these quarreling, would she still want to marry me? And to my amazement, she looked at me and said yes. I believe I asked her twice and at that moment, I knew I just needed to give her the ring. I had already asked her the question and she had said yes. So I gave her the ring and said again "Would you marry me? Make me the happiest man alive" With tears in her eyes, she said yes!

And now.... we are married...

My name is Wale, and that is my story.